Colombian pollsters are planning to export their methodology to the U.S., claiming “no president, not even Barack Obama, deserves an approval rating lower than 70%.”
“While in the U.S., an approval rating depends on the quality of a leader’s policies, in Colombia we are able to eliminate that variable and can guarantee an approval rating of at least 60 % no matter how lame or corrupt the president.”
“We are still analyzing what U.S. pollsters do wrong, but in Colombia, Obama can still count on the support of 70% of the people we interview,” a National Consultancy Center (CNC) spokesman said. “Even our own presidents maintain high approval ratings despite corruption scandals and unpopular measures like raising the price of gasoline.”
The pollsters are particularly proud of the popularity of the Colombian armed forces, who despite facing investigations over the killing of some 3,000 civilians, have maintained the approval of 80% of the population.
According to Gallup Colombia, “the trick is strategic urban polling, avoiding the rural areas where these atrocities took place.”
Additionally, “using only the internet for polling has eliminated the poor who are depressingly negative about politicians,” said the CNC.
Colombian pollsters suspect that their American colleagues, particularly those of Fox News, also interview people in southern states where support for Democratic politicians is traditionally relatively low. “If this proves to be true, than this is the Achilles heel of Obama’s popularity potential. This could easily be avoided by excluding southerners from the polls.”
Both pollsters claim to easily be able to lift Obama’s popularity to above 80%. “Unless he starts behaving like [former U.S. President George W.] Bush he can’t go wrong. I mean, Obama did kill Osama Bin Laden,” said the CNC spokesman.
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