Baranquilla Carnival commenced with an explosion of color and characters on the Caribbean coast Saturday.
Colombia’s biggest carnival saw a host of familiar faces from the world of politics and celebrity, as well as from recent news, hit the streets of the country’s fourth most populus city.
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Playing on the recent bomberos porn controversy, which struck a north Colombia fire station following the discovery it was used to film a blue movie, these cheeky revellers took to the streets as a porno firefighter and his “hot models.” The scandal broke when it was noticed the emblems on the fire trucks were clearly visible during scenes of the film.
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Shakira’s return to her hometown was greeted with hoots and hollers, until someone noticed she was not the real deal. The truth was only revealed when someone realized that, unlike in her most famous song, this Shakira’s hips actually did lie. As did the rest of her body.
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Proof that a carnival can cure any sort of ill-feeling was seen when firebrand Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez made an appearance alongside long-term enemy and former United States President George W. Bush. Thankfully assassinated islamic militant Osama Bin Laden was on hand to keep the smiles flowing if it ever got tense between them.
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Taking time out from their busy schedules as dead FARC commanders, Mono Jojoy and Raul Reyes put down their weapons and message of left-wing insurgency and picked up the party spirit. According to reports, the pair were so excited about the parade that they forgot to eat lunch. Thankfully Reyes had his chordless phone with him, so they later ordered a pizza.
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Disgraced former Bogota Mayor Samuel Moreno put aside his political suspension and pretrial detention, based on carousel corruption charges, to get in to the party spirit alongside the best of them. In a sign that he is not the greedy thief people take him for, Moreno was good enough to bring a case full of money, presumably with the intention of spreading the wealth.
