Following the publication of photos showing FARC negotiator “Ivan Marquez” on a Harley Davidson motorcycle and the subsequent publication of President Juan Manuel Santos’ BMW 7, the rebels on Saturday further challenged Colombia’s government to an all-out pissing contest.
In a press release published on the rebels’ website, the FARC showed a photo of a gold-plated Chevrolet Camaro ZL1, calling on the Colombian “government of the oligarchy” to “step up” and “put its money where its mouth is.”
“Show us the bling if you’re such a successful capitalist,” said the FARC, one of the oldest active players in Colombia’s drug trafficking business.
According to the Colombian government, the gold-plated vehicle is a Photoshop montage and a pissing contest would be “inappropriate.”
“We will not compete with terrorists,” a presidential spokesman told Colombia Reports, stressing that “consumer reviews of the new Camaro are far less positive than those of the president’s BMW. Besides, we already gave a Ferrari to the police.”
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While negotiating peace and challenging the government to a pissing contest, the once-communist FARC is engaged in a nearly 48-year-long war against the Colombian state for some reason.